In Astorga the Tears Started

On the way to Astorga the tears started.

I have been crying now for 2 days and there is no stopping the tears.

Every kind deed - Jerry the Irishman taking my pack of my back and taking it upstairs, claiming a bed for me, Sweet Tina giving me a hug - it all just opens the floodgates.

I am having so much difficulty to show vulnerability
so much difficulty to do things the easy way
I am having so much difficulty to show that I am weak
and yet I have no resources left, nothing to stop the tears, they just keep coming, why do I have to understand why?

I write a long piece in my journal about all my tears, too personal and painful to share on my blog.

Amongst other things I am crying for my sister who died in pain and all alone with no one to hold her hand and comfort her.

I am crying for all the people who are living with hurt. Broken people who do not know the way out of all the heartache and pain.

I am crying 50 years of tears, which I have been holding back, always being strong, never showing emotion, always comforting other people.

I am crying for years of believing that I am not enough, a story I know I told myself - a story that was not true.

I am crying
I am crying
I am crying

Crying Peregrino